Today as I was scrolling though facebook on my phone I saw a picture of a cute little blondie girl. Ry, looking over my shoulder, asked me who she was. How do you tell your 6 year old daughter who that little girl is, the one who won't be with her mom and dad and family for Christmas? Do you tell her the story of the mean man who walked in a school, very much like her own, and decided to shoot 20 children that were her same age? Are we supposed to ignore it, hoping that our children will still feel safe at school, the place where they spend their week, making it their second home? How do we describe the fact that this little blondie will never turn 7. She will never read another Junie B. Jones book before she goes to bed at night. She will never sing another song in the car with her family. How do you tell your baby that some mom and dad will never be able to tuck their little blond haired princess into bed at night? What are we supposed to say?
I don't know the right answers to all these questions. I don't know how I am going to feel tomorrow as she jumps out of the car excited for a new week of school. The knot in my stomach tells me that it will be a long day. A day thinking about the families who don't have a 6 year old to be excited for the last few days of school before Christmas break. Families who don't get to see their girl sing carols at school and bring their teacher Christmas presents. How will we move on?
I told Ry that the little girl was in a horrible accident. That a mean man walked into her classroom and tried to hurt a lot of people and kids. I reassured her that she will be safe at her school, trying to hide the fact that I feel like I am lying to her. I know I trust her teacher and that she would do everything in her power to keep the students safe, I know that as the week goes on the days will get easier. I know this is nothing compared to how it would feel to be the mother of the cutie little blonde girl. Lastly and most importantly, I know the hurt in my heart and the knot in my stomach are for them, not me and my family.
