About Our Ten Month Old

 About a year ago, we found out I was carrying a healthy baby boy, about 20 weeks along, but that was last February. Now February is new. It has brought us a 10 month old and it has surprised us.

(Eli at 3 weeks)

Our Ten Month Old claps. He stands in his exersaucer and claps his soft skinned puffy little hands together and smiles his gummy smile ear to ear. Our Ten Month Old thinks we are funny. He squeaks, he growls, he screams, he cries, he laughs. He is happy.

Our Ten Month Old is a baby who wants to eat big boy solid food, but his gag reflex won't let him. While his 10 month old brain tells him to bite a cracker, his 7 1/2 month old gummy mouth won't let him chew. This is something that makes him frustrated. Our Ten Month Old is a boy who wants to be in the middle of all the action and he believes he should be able to, he is a determined little boy who tries so hard to scoot and to move. His brain tells him he can, but his arms and legs won't carry him. Our baby has a 10 month old brain in a 13 pound body.

Our Ten Month Old makes us laugh. He makes smoochy noises, which then makes us all freak out with excitement at a new trick by the baby boy. Our Ten Month Old sits up like a big boy to play with his toys. He drinks from a sippy cup and likes to try feeding himself with a spoon.

Our Tenth Month Old is a healthy boy. A boy who has made it almost through his first winter with no surprise sicknesses. He surprises us every day. He may be different than other babies his age, but he is ours and we love Our Ten Month Old.

(Eli at 10 months)

(*3 weeks after this was written we have been surprised again! Eli eats graham crackers, and vanilla wafers like a champ. He also is learning to scoot and rolling everywhere. He got his first tooth and the second isn't far behind. Just this morning, he decided he knows how to make consonant sounds - dada, blabla, baba, and has been shouting them all day!)

Dear Kennel

I know this letter to you is a little late. I have wanted to start one since your birthday, but I just don't know how to put your crazy personality into words. Over the last month I have been thinking daily about what to tell you. So, now that I know what I want to say, here it goes.

You just turned three and three is a magical age around here. I have noticed that things change with a 3 year old. You have become a tester of the rules. At dinner time, you like to not eat your meal. The usual encouragement for us is to tell you that if you don't at least try to eat, you will go to bed. Well, when we say this to you, you tell us that you are ready for bed. When it is raining outside and you want to play out there, I tell you to put a coat on because you will be cold and wet, you tell me you want to be cold and wet...that you like it. When I make you a sandwich you tell me that you are done and "full" after only a few bites. You L-O-V-E your purple pillow. You would lay on it all day sucking your "fumb" if I let you. You love to wear fancy shoes and hate wearing sweaters or jackets.

I want you to know that I LOVE you! You came out as our most snuggly baby, and have remained that way. You have just a little bit of fluff around your bones and it just makes you so squishy. You sneak out of your room after bedtime and ask to snuggle me about every 10 minutes.  I want you to know that you have amazing olive toned skin and always look a little suntanned. I want you to know that you have a lighter spot on your wrist from a blister that you gave yourself (from sucking on it in my tummy) before I had you. I want you to know that when you smile, you scrunch up your whole face. I want you to know that you have little "bucks" from sucking your thumb and you love to show them to everyone! All we have to do is say "show us your bucks" and you smile your hugest buckiest smile we have ever seen. I want you to know that your huge brown eyes stare into my soul. You have the longest darkest eye lashes that surround your brown eyes and one puppy dog look is all it takes to make me smitten. I want you to know that I have been smitten since the day you were born.

I want you to know that you are funny. I want you to know that you are capable of making everyone laugh. The other day we had the missionaries over for dinner. You were prancing around being goofy, not really saying anything and they just kept laughing at you, not even knowing why. They just said you are funny. I want you to know that we all knew you were funny from the beginning. Something about the way you looked at me made me laugh. I want you to know that I remember telling your Grandmas how funny you were and you could barely even smile.

I want you to know that you are a vital part to our family. I want you to know that you look up to your big sister. You love to play with her, and she loves to play with you. I want you to know that you two are seldom apart from each other. You will stay in your room and play dolls for 3 hours straight on some days. I want you to know that she needs you. You make her happy. I want you to know that there are many times when she is just relaxing and you walk into the room and instantly she lights up. You do something goofy, then she will look at me and chuckle. She knows that you make her happy. I want you to know that Your baby brother needs you. He needs to know that when you came to see him in the hospital, you just stared at him and did nothing but calmly wonder and worry about him. I want you to know that you said prayers for him. I want you to know that you are going to help him find funny things as he gets older. You are going to show him how to be naughty!

I want you to know that you will brighten peoples days for the rest of your life. I want you to always remember you are capable of doing so.

Love you,
Mom

Dear Christmas

I think we all get to an age where Christmas begins to lose it's magic, for me I remember it being when I first moved out of my parents house. The first Christmas I was in my own place, I worked A LOT! My dear friend Jules and I would work all day, then go to my apartment and eat warm peanut butter rice crispy treats and play Tetris on my Super Nintendo. We did this for almost 2 weeks straight during Christmas break from college. It was fun, some of my best memories from college, but not quite the same celebration as when I was with my family.

When I first married Dustin, our first Christmas together was great. We were newlyweds and loved spending our first holiday season together. I knew it would only get better with time. The year following that Christmas, we spent with my parents in Utah. I still had fun but was really beginning to notice that something was missing. Still, I knew it would only get better. The next Christmas, our sweet miniture Ry was with us. She was only 4 months old, and I felt a glimmer of Christmas in my heart, knowing that as the years went on, Christmases were, still, only going to get better. Two years later, we had our sweet newborn Kendall with us. There is something so wonderful about being able to hold your new baby at Christmas time. I felt a minuscule amount of what Mary felt as she held baby Jesus. It was magic. Holding a newborn, snuggling her surrounded by Christmas lights. I still knew it was only going to get better. Last year we had a 2 year old and a 4 year old. there were presents to be opened, candy to eat, and new toys to be played with. The door to Christmas in my heart and mind had been blown wide open.  I was so excited when I went to bed, I could hardly sleep. I wondered (with my girls of course) where Santa was and when he would be coming to our house. I couldn't wait to spend the next day with my family. We were expecting our third child, and this was the first Christmas I can think of in the the last 7 years where I felt like we were having our first family Christmas. Only, neither mine or Dustin's parents were with us. It was only him and I and our babies. Our family, our Christmas.

This year, with our 3 children and our family being complete, all together all under one roof Christmas was amazing. We celebrated one day early because Dustin had to work on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. One thing I have tried to do every year is to remember traditions. This year, I didn't have to remember them, they just happened. We looked at lights. We danced in the Smith's house with their huge singing Santa Claus and singing snowmen. We jumped over the flashing rope lights on their lawn and checked out their decorations. We left ice cream for Santa and vegetables for Rudolph. We wrote him a letter and he wrote one back to us. Even some fuzzy hair from his beard wound up in the ice cream bowl. It settles my heart to know that I was right, Christmas has gotten better every year. I can only wonder, what does the next Christmas have in store for us?

Love,
one happy family

Dear Ry and Kennel

Tonight I saw you girls sleeping. Tonight, after Kendall came out of your room for the millionth time around 9 o'clock, she finally went back to bed and fell asleep. Tonight I thought that I needed a break and really needed you girls to go to bed.

Tonight I forgot how little you are. Tonight I forgot that Kendall will only be 3 in two weeks. Tonight I forgot that Rylin is only 5. Tonight I forgot how much you need me. Tonight I forgot how much I need you. Tonight I forgot how many more years I will have you at home with me.

(Rylin and Kendall, November 2008)

Tonight I remembered that those years are few compared to the years I will have without you at home with me. Tonight I looked into your closet and remembered how little your dresses and jackets are. Tonight I remembered that 10 years from now, your dresses and jackets will take up more space and hang lower to the floor. Tonight I remembered how little you are. Tonight I remembered that you are only 2 and 5. Tonight I remembered how much you need me and how much I need you. Tonight I remembered how many more years I will have you at home with me.

(Rylin and Kendall October 2011)

Love,
Mom

Dear Major Milestones

When Ry was born, she was our first. Every thing she did was new to us. The first time she smiled was uplifting. Making me feel like those endless nights were worth it. To feel the love that comes through a first smile is something that one could never imagine until you see it coming from your own baby. With her cheeks scrunched up, and eyes squinting, she showed me how much she loved me. It was a moment I never want to forget. It was when I first learned about the part of your heart that opens up to hold more love than you ever imagined. That part that only becomes real after you have a baby.

When Kennel was born, I had expected some things. I knew she would smile at about 5 weeks. I knew she would roll over after a few months and I knew she wouldn't walk until after she was one. I had experience. We knew what we were doing the second time around. Kendall showed me what it was like to have a normal pregnancy, to have a planned delivery with an average weight baby. For her, the milestone I will never forget is hearing her cry (scream) as soon as she was born. She is our only babe who came out and showed us she was ok. There was nothing to worry about. We would have a lifetime of surprises with this one.

When Eli was 5 months old. He touched my face for the first time. I was changing his diaper and his arms were flailing all over the place. He was babbling and chewing on his fist. He reached to my face with one fist, and opened his fingers as much as he could. He latched on with his fingertips onto my cheek. He held still. I stopped in my tracks. This was the first time he has been able to have enough control to touch me on purpose. I will never forget that momentous milestone. The control he had over his hands. Most babies gain this control after a few months. 5 months after Eli was born, he reached up and touched my cheek. The look of contentment on his face told me he had wanted to do this for a long time, and he fought so hard for the chance to do so. Those endless days staring at a baby in an incubator, those days where we could only hold our baby for a few hours before he got too tired, those days I spent with my sweet princesses while my prince stayed in the hospital 2 hours away, all became worth it when Eli touched my face. The funny thing is, he knew it too.

Dear Major Milestones,
You have always been around. The difference is: now, I know how important you are.

-Ciera

Dear Eternal Companion

Thank you for choosing me, way back when we were only 16 and 18. Thank you for deciding I was worth a second look, after initially being "too quiet". Thank you for the teasing and little pushes while we played ghosts in the graveyard outside Grandma Barrett's on that New Year's Eve when 2000 turned to 2001. Thank you for making my heart spin that weekend.

Thank you for letting me run away from my High School drama later that year, and take a short weekend trip to your house with my BFF, your cousin. Thank you for staying up all night talking about religion and all the crazy things going on in the life of a 17 year old teenage Mormon girl. Thank you for being the only Mormon boy I could ever talk to about life. Thank you for not making the moves on me that weekend, but instead showing me the kind of respect that a daughter of God deserves. Thank you reminding me what qualities I was searching for in the man of my dreams. Thank you for showing me that you were what I deserved.

Thank you for driving to Carnation almost every weekend for 4 months, so we could see each other. Thank you for staying worthy of serving a mission and worthy of our future together, worthy of becoming an Elder and to hold the priesthood. Thank you for leaving me for 2 years. Thank you for all the letters and emails and packages and the 2 phone calls during those 2 years. Thank you for getting to know me and letting me get to know you through letters. Thank you for loving me the whole time you were gone. Thank you for loving me when you came back.

Thank you for proposing to me only 3 weeks after returning. Thank you for wanting to get married in the temple. Thank you for buying me a ring that sparkled beyond all I had ever imagined. Thank you for surprising me with it and being all romantic-like when you gave it to me. Thank you for marrying me for time and all eternity. Thank you for taking me to Canada on our honeymoon. Thank you for working hard to support us as newlyweds when I couldn't find a job, and when I went to beauty school.

Thank you for the first attempt at starting our family. Thank you for standing by me when it didn't go as  planned. Thank you for being worthy of the Priesthood to give me a blessing that weekend. Thank you for trying a second time to start our family. Thank you for giving me our baby girl, Ry. Thank you for being worthy of being her father. Thank you for her blue eyes and her love of singing. Thank you for our second baby girl, Kendall. Thank you for giving her your crazy-ness, and sense of humor. Thank you for our baby boy and naming him Elijah. Thank you for his puffy hair, and dimples.

Thank you for being strong. Thank you for your never ending hard work. Thank you for doing all you can for us. Thank you for being positive. Thank you for being funny. Thank you for being sarcastic. Thank you for loving us. Most of all, thank you for being so ridiculously good-looking, I always knew we would make adorable kids.

Love,
Your Eternal Companion.

Dear Top 10 - In No Particular Order

#1- Do you remember taking his first pictures? Do you know that the card you made for mothers day from him surprised me? Did you know I cried when I saw it? Do you remember when he started to turn grey and was retaining fluid? Do you remember how puffy his chin was? Do you remember when you helped me hold my baby for the first time when he was 10 days old? Do you remember trying to tape up all his tubes so they wouldn't get yanked out? Do you remember when you came back from vacation, he looked like a whole other baby? Do you remember charting while you held him on your lap on the middle of the night?

#1- Do you remember when nothing in his body was working right? Do you remember when he peed a few cc's and we were ecstatic? Do you remember when we had to leave him at the hospital on Mother's Day, we went to tell him goodbye and you were at the front desk showing off his first teeny tiny poo? Do you remember we had waited 5 days for him to poo? Did you know that you were the first nurse I remembered when I came back? Did you know you made me more comfortable? Do you know you explained how sick he was in a way that helped us understand? Did you know you helped us feel ok with not being there those few first days because you were confident in the care you were giving him?

#1- Do you remember when I told you "the more you laugh at Dustin's jokes, the funnier he thinks he is and the more jokes he will tell?" Do you remember when I came into the room and was "sooooo done" with my best friend, the pump? Do you remember that it was actually everyday that I told you this? Do you remember when you wore two different colored shoes to work and had to cover them up with blue paper booties, so I took a picture? Did you know that picture still makes me laugh? Do you know that you taught me more about breastfeeding that I have known even after having two other babies? Do you remember when he practiced nursing for the first time, he grabbed my thumb and you said you will not forget that for a long time because it was so cute? Do you remember jumping for joy with me when he nursed enough to make a difference in his weight for the first time? Did you really throw away your grouchy pants for good?

#1- Do you know that I am sooooo glad you switched to dayshift? Did you know that even though you were only on that shift for a few weeks while we were there, I realized you are hilarious and I love that we are friends? Do you know that the first time I remember meeting you, I was having a really horrible night. Do you remember that you brought me a cup of ice water and that was the night I became addicted to the crunchy hospital ice? Did you know that I hated always having you crazy nurses get it for me, but I had to get my fill of crunchy hospital ice? Do you remember that you were there when he was extubated? Do you know that he misses your singing?

#1- Do you know that I love your Dansko's? Do you know that in the few weeks before he went home, you played a huge part in his success with bottles? Did you know I always felt ok leaving when you were there at night because I knew you would try your hardest to wake him up for a bottle? Do you remember when you had to stop his feeds because his tummy was kinda big again? Did you know that he discovered his cry that day? That he discovered how loud he could be when he was hungry? Do you remember when you were soooo close to putting his NG tube back in, then he surprised us all and took a full bottle and every bottle from then on?

#1- Do you remember when I bought that dang transformer, Iron-Hide? Do you remember when I sat there for 2 hours trying to turn the robot into the truck? Do you remember that even after those 2 hours, it still was half robot and half truck?  Do you remember when you helped me give him his first bath in his incubator? Do you remember that I had no idea what I was doing? Do you remember that I owe you money still? Do you think you will ever get it? :)

#7- Do you remember the day when our baby was born? Do you remember that time when you were super protective :) and wouldn't let anyone touch him? Did you know then how precious he was? Do you remember that weekend when there were only a few babies in his room and we found out you used to be a cheerleader? Did you know that was one of the best days we had in the NICU? Do you remember when we told you we had a top 10 and you wanted to be #1? Look at you now, you are only #7! Do you remember when we saw you "fast walking" in the parking lot and do you remember you gave Dustin a hug? Did you know that's when we knew you liked us as much as we liked you? Did you know that's why we brought you licorice? Do you remember when the charge nurses started putting you in other rooms away from us? Did you know it was ok because you found him a girlfriend? Did you know it was also ok because you got to help Cohen? Did you know you go to Hawaii too much?

#1- Do you know that you are crazy with all those Ironman's that you do? Do you know how much we loved spending time with you on the slow weekends? Do you know that you helped us have some distractions from the daily routine with all our conversations about normal everyday stuff we had in common (jobs, races, etc)? Do you know I think you are super smart? Do you know I ask a lot of crazy questions? Did you know that you always knew the answer to all my crazy questions? Do you know that your answers always made me feel better because they helped me understand? Do you know I was a little sad when you switched to nights because we missed you those last two weeks we were there?

To the Kimmel Family- Did you know that you were moved to room three because we needed each other? Do you know that after everything we have been through, we could never go on in life without the bond we will share with each other? Do you know how much we will always appreciate what you have been through? Do you know that we admire your strength?

To all the NP's, Neo-Natalogists, Secretaries, RT's, PT's, and everyone else who played a part in our little stint at the NICU- Do you know that you gave us a lifetime of happiness with our little boy? Do you know that you work miracles? Do you know you have the ability to change lives? You changed ours forever. Do you know how we could ever repay you for that?

Do you miss our snack drawer?

Love,
The Soptich's