Things That Are Meant To Be

The first time I was pregnant, I developed a pattern. It started when I miscarried that pregnancy. Next, we had a perfectly beautiful baby girl. About one and a half years later, I miscarried again, followed by another healthy beautiful baby girl about a year later. Two years after we had her, I was expecting again.

I was pregnant and was curious if my pattern would continue. If it did, I would lose the pregnancy a few weeks after the positive test. I found out I was pregnant just after Halloween. By Thanksgiving I was smack dab in the middle of the woes of morning (all day) sickness. Towards the 2nd week of December, I was sure all my symptoms were fading. The first ultrasound wasn't scheduled until a few weeks later. I decided I couldn't wait that long, so I called my doctor. In my experience, no symptoms meant no healthy baby growing.

At the ultrasound later that day, everything looked fine. No reason to worry. Eventually I began to feel sick again, another reassurance.

When Eli was born a few months later, he started to get really sick within his first few days of life. He started to turn a grayish dusky blue color and retain fluid. All the nurses, doctors and nurse practitioners were stumped. Finally, when Eli was about a week old, Maneesh (neonatologist) and his team had one last test. It was for me. I needed to be tested for a sickness I could have been carrying called Toxoplasmosis, the kitty litter disease. It is the reason they suggest pregnant women don't clean litter boxes while pregnant. It usually causes miscarriage. Luckily my blood came back negative for this, and a few days later Eli turned a corner and started to do better.

It was after having my blood drawn that I realized how my pattern had been broken. It would have been crazy if I had carried Toxoplasmosis, because in my history it would have meant Eli was supposed to miscarry. We never found out why we had such a sick preemie little mini-boy those first 10 days, but I do know I am thankful the pattern was broken and we have him here with us.